Courtship Style Prospecting: Winning the Heart

man bringing flowers to woman

Reaching and finding success with a prospect and converting them to a customer is not unlike a courtship. If you’ve ever entered the world of adult dating, you can relate to this comparison.

The upside here is that you don’t have to take things so personally, since rejection, although undesirable, isn’t going to damage your self worth and psyche. It’s just business. Nevertheless, the goal is to win the heart of your prospect and build a lasting relationship.

Here are tips to finding and winning the client of your dreams. I’ve used the “she” pronoun, assuming the old fashioned courtship model, but you’ll get the point.

Be where she’ll be 

Determine who your dream girl is. What is it you’re looking for? Who’s your perfect match? If she’s the sporty type, you have to show up at the gym, or hiking meet-ups. To attract an intellectual type, attend seminars and lectures. Maybe she’s a socialite, therefore attend parties and galas. If she’s just a fun ‘ol country girl, the country bar might be your destination. Learn who she is and what she loves and show up. It’s possible you may meet her online where you can narrow down those specific likes and personality traits and connect there.

Finding your ideal client requires “hanging out” in the right places. Identify who your prospect is. Who needs what you sell? Describe the person that defines your intended customer. Then you can find out where that person is spending their time and money.

What social media are they using? Which magazines are they reading? What websites are they searching? Go to them and learn about them.

 Learn her core values  

Once you’ve made the initial connection, you need to find out even more about her. What makes her cry, what makes her laugh? How does she like her coffee, or is she a tea drinker? What’s her favorite thing about her job, as well as her pain points? Learn about her dreams and passions.

Through the use of online resources such as Google analytics, Amazon reviews, social media pages, and chat rooms, you can learn what your prospect wants and the key words they use. Knowing these key words is invaluable when it comes to writing copy that connects and converts.

Begin the courtship

Make it all about her. Let her pick the movie, bring her flowers and her favorite candy. Little gifts with no strings attached show you care and make her feel safe and valued.

We all put up barriers when we feel like we’re being sold to. Any time you can offer something of value for free, this helps to break down those barriers. Being generous goes a long way toward showing you know and care about your client.

Consider what you can give prospects, such as an ebook, a guide, or a product sample, that would alleviate any fears they may have of moving forward.

Share who you are

She wants to know you better now and needs to feel safe with you. She wants to be sure your values match up with hers. She’s testing carefully now to be sure she’s not making a mistake. Her radar is on. If you’re being fake or hiding something, she’s going to find out and she’s ready to bail the moment she does.

Don’t be a jerk. Believe me, it won’t take her long to figure out she can do better.

Being transparent in business dealings is always the right thing to do. But when trying to win the trust (and money) of your prospect, never resort to clever words to disguise the truth or underplay any problem areas. One sniff that you’re hiding something and you’re likely to lose any hope of closing a deal.

Anything that affects the client, such as shipping schedules, future up-sells, and quantity limits for example, need to be addressed. Offering a money-back guarantee can alleviate a plethora of concerns.

You’ve gained her trust 

Now that she knows you won’t hurt her, she’s receptive to your affections. She wants to feel your touch and connect at a more intimate level. It’s time to start building a relationship together. She’s ready to take your hand and let you lead her to the next level.

Once you’ve won her heart, here is your reward.

  1. You’re a keeper. She’s anxious now to introduce you to her friends and family. You’ve given her plenty of reason to be proud of you and she wants to tell everyone she knows. You’re a part of her life now, and just thinking of you makes her smile.
  2. She’s making plans for the future. She’s looking forward to having you in her life for the long haul. Help her with that vision and show her what it will look like to build a future together. Make her promises you plan to keep.
  3. Don’t mess up. She’s put her trust in you so you better keep earning it. If you betray that trust, well… you know what they say, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Simple mistakes may get you second chances, but if you screw up bad, like lying or cheating, not only will you lose her, she’ll be sure to tell everyone she knows about  it.

Happy customers are loyal customers

Finding the right customers for your product or services will allow you to stay targeted in your marketing efforts. Identify the wants and needs of your prospect, along with the language they use to find what they’re looking for. This allows you to create copy that gets right to the heart. And that’s right where you want to be. Be giving and trustworthy, and you can stay there.

Keeping your marketing, communications, and business practices customer-centric makes you a valued partner for life.

And they lived happily ever after.

P.S. If you’re actually single, and entering the dating world, you’re welcome. These tips can work for you, too.


Cindy White is a freelance copywriter specializing in helping businesses reach their target markets for increased sales and improved client relations through compelling, well-crafted copy. Initial consultations are always free of charge. 

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  1. Great way to describe any industry and the relationships within. Enjoyed the flow and content very much. Hope to read more. This one helped out quite a bit expressed in a simple form that I and probably many can relate to.

  2. Powerful, fascinating and easy read. Great post. Thank you!

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